Maternity Photos Ideas: Victoria Page Style

Call me jaded or cynical, but I often giggle at maternity photos because they are supposed to be a depiction of your pregnancy, and I would just like to state, I have never stood holding my giant stomach on a beach staring lovingly by the ocean.  Don’t get me wrong, pregnancy is a beautiful thing but for me, I like my pictures to tell the story of what really happened.  So I thought about it:  What are some ideas that really convey the “pregnancy experience.”

Hump Day: You’re Next!

I must be getting old, because this pollen business is knocking me on my ass every single day.  Monday night I could not function at all.  I came home, took out my contacts and just lay prostrate on my bed begging the swelling of my eyes and the running of my nose to subside.  Claritin and a rainstorm later I am feeling a lot better.

Everyone is pregnant.  No really.  Everyone.  Yesterday J’s brother had the distinction of listening to his baby’s heartbeat for the very first time.  Let’s all say a collective, “Awwwwwwww.”  Gosh I remember how much I loved to hear that sound.  The girl was really slow and The Boy sounded like a freight train.  Our conversation this morning made me miss those pregnant moments.  I know I complain about feeling like shit during both of my pregnancies amid swollen ankles, being pregnant in my neck and arms, and feeling like I was on a boat 24 hours a day, but I remember that both of my pregnancies were special in their own way.  This made me think: “Do I want more kids?”  At first my answer is, “Hell No….I like taking a nap on Saturday while watching copious amounts of documentaries and drinking HOT coffee!” But there is a part of me that wants to give the whole, “Marriage and baby” thing another try, but biology will be my biggest hindrance.  I am 32 and I am not even close to being married and my son is not down with being a big brother to anything.  I don’t see myself really getting married again until after I hit 35 and then I want two years to enjoy my husband so that gives me around 37/38 to began gestating (lol).  Then we have to account for the fact I have uno tubo fallopian (ruptured ectopic in 2005) this may not all happen until I am 40.  Sheesh.  I read somewhere a few weeks back before Kim Kardashian got pregnant, she was going to put a few of her eggs on ice.  Slap me, but Kimmy K gave me an idea……I may just look into freezing my little eggos until the right time.

Training for my first half marathon is just……falling flat.  I did not get up early enough for what was supposed to be my long run, and I was only able to do 3.7.  This weekend I am going to make it a point to get up early enough so I can do a solid 6.  The other problem I am facing is pulling back my pace.  On my Saturday run, I kept a 9:50 per mile pace.  I was able to maintain, but isn’t that too fast for a half?  I just don’t want to fizzle out, so I am going to concentrate on slowing down and waking up in the morning so I can do the whole run.

One thing I did realize this Saturday is I need to invest in a sports bra.  I am not particularly heavy chested, but I noticed my thin bra strap chafed the hell out of my right shoulder.  Maybe I should add bodyglide to that list as well.

I am happy to have made if through half of the week, as this has been an emotionally and mentally tough week for me (put a pin in that) and I am just happy that God did not allow me to collapse under the stress.

Related articles

• A Mom Shares: Why I Hated Being Pregnant (thebump.com)
• Dear Kim Kardashian: You Are Neglecting The Best Perk Of Pregnancy – Your Boobs (thegloss.com)

The Hitter

If you have read enough of my blog, you know by now I have two kids.  One girl, one boy and these two are like night and day right down to my pregnancies with each of them.  When I was pregnant with my daughter, I felt HORRIBLE!!!!  All I could stomach was cold canned peaches and pepperoni pizza from Sbarro.  I was pregnant in every part of my body to the point I looked like a basketball with eyes all through my third trimester.  My labor with her was my reward for my pregnancy, it was quick and dirty, just like all labors should be.  Pitocin, broken water, baby.  So easy I don’t even remember the pain, though I am 100% sure I saw stars during one of my contractions.  I guess the easy labor was God’s way of making sure I had energy for the next step, because I did not sleep for longer than 30 minutes at a time for the next 3 months.  My daughter had this strange thing going where she had two modes: crying or sleeping.  I will let you guess which one she liked to do the most.  During those three months, she took four 45 minute naps a day, all which did not allow me to “sleep when baby is sleeping”, which I think is the biggest bullshit phrase I have ever heard.  When she wasn’t asleep, she was crying.  I guess it was her way to pass the time away, or ensure there were none after her.  The upside was for all the crying, when she hit the toddler years she was a DREAM.