Bring in the Husbands!!!

29 Apr

single mother


I got a kick out of this over at Mom Solo, a blog written by a single mother who is one by choice.  I didn’t sign up for single motherhood per se, but I’m here in it, and I found this post very telling.

For a long time I was embarrassed to be a single mother.  With my daughter, I always made sure to chime in that “I was with her father for years!”  Maybe if I threw that out I wouldn’t be judged.  The second time around I was married, and when my marriage went south and we divorced, I was faced with stigma of being a single mom, with two kids, with…..different dads.  So with my son, I find myself making sure I mention his dad was my “ex-husband, ” so people will not think badly of me.  I carried this on for a while, even gaining a fictitious husband when I moved to DC.  I am learning that this type of lie is another part of “mommy guilt.”  I felt guilty because I didn’t stay with the father’s of my children, therefore not giving them a traditional family (whatever that is now days).  I am letting go of that guilt slowly, but surely.  My marital status is not a direct indicator of what kind of mother I am or what kind of person I am.

2 Responses to “Bring in the Husbands!!!”

  1. theflashcook April 30, 2013 at 8:32 pm #

    Hi there- new single parent (also divorced) . I find myself doing the same thing – was with her dad for a looonnng time! Who cares right? gotta work on that… 🙂

  2. Biodun3 May 3, 2013 at 4:41 pm #


    When we started out together
    You were my world; the sweetest,
    But not too long thereafter
    Your sincerity was put to test.

    When we were still together
    Morning, noon, and night,
    You were there for me;
    Now I wake up in the morning
    I reach out my hand for you,
    Your space is empty.

    Now that you’re gone from my life
    My days I live in sorrow;
    Now that I’m nobody’s wife
    I feel so painfully hollow.

    I can never love again
    On that I’m hell-bent;
    To experience this pain again
    I’m determined to prevent.

    I’ve been left to wander alone
    By one who’s supposed to be my darling;
    I’ve been beaten black-and-blue
    And I’m still crying;
    I’m swimming in my tears
    Instead of soaring in the air;
    I’ve been stabbed in the heart
    And I’m still bleeding;
    I can never love again,
    I’m still hurting.

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